Simple guidelines and strategies to adopt with girls so you retain control of the power of sexual escalation.
Okay, you’re sitting with a girl on your bed.
She’s making out with your tongue, playing field hockey with your tonsils.
You kiss her neck while you pass your palm over her breasts through her shirt and with the other hand stroke her thigh.
You slip one of your hands down her jeans and start massaging her lips with your fingers.
Then she speaks those pesky words you prayed you wouldn’t hear.
“No… stop… we shouldn’t be doing this…” she says.
You feel that disappointing feeling of frustration. So close, and yet what do you do?
Most guys unfortunately either 1. stop moving forward, 2. start begging for sex, or 3. start arguing with the girl as to why she should continue.
With all three strategies however, you’re playing with matches on a wooden boat.
Most likely they’ll backfire and the ship will sink.
If you stop moving forward with the hopes that you’ll show her that you’re sensitive to her feelings and a swell guy, she may just come to the conclusion that you’re another”nice guy”who folded at the very first sign of resistance – not very sexy.
In any case, if you stop she’ll most likely pop out of state and you’ll have a lot of backtracking to do.
If you start begging like, “Please girl… just let me take this bra off… come on baby… please baby…” you’ll come across as needy and desperate to get into her pants. Begging also engages the woman’s neocortex which is responsible for reasoning and critical judgment – and frames sexual escalation into a yes/no choice for the woman.
In other words, you’re placing all the power of sexual escalation into the woman’s hands – specifically into the hands of her critical mind that’s responsible for acceptance or rejection – which is exactly where you DON’T want the power to be.
For example, imagine you’re at a car dealership and you’re on the fence about buying this new car. You’ve just met the salesman that afternoon – so naturally you don’t know if he’s completely trustworthy, even though he may seem to be.
You hesitate whether you should buy the car or not and suddenly the salesman starts pleading with you to buy the car. He begs of you, “Come on… please buy this car… do it for me… I really need this commission…”
You’re not going to instantly feel sorry for him and buy the car. In fact, his neediness will probably turn you off. You may even begin to start to think of every reason NOT to buy the car.
Arguing with a woman using rational reasoning too is simply a form of sophisticated begging. For example, you might argue with a woman, “Yes… but we’ve already known each other for two weeks… what’s the big deal? Sex is natural.”
You MAY convince her to move forward, but it’s much more likely she’ll simply react with counter reasons to your reasons. Again, you’re engaging her neocortex, the critical, judging part of the woman’s brain that looks for reasons to stop. You’re only feeding her resistance fuel to throw back at you.
Now, if you have a girl isolated, sitting on your bed, and kissing you – there’s a 99% chance she *IS* willing to sleep with you.
However, a lot of women have intense emotional feelings when it comes to having sex with a new guy for the first time.
When it comes down to the moment when she realizes that sex is inevitable – or at least once she realizes she’s become so turned on that if she doesn’t stop things NOW, she’ll lose control over herself and surrender to her urges – she’ll attempt to put up a final resistance.
“No… this is happening so fast… please…” she’ll say.
Her body and limbic brain responsible for lust and sex (also referred to as the unconscious mind) is telling her to GO, but her neocortex (the conscious mind), full of societal programming, is telling her to hold out.
Christina Aguilera sums it up nicely in the song Genie in a Bottle – “My body’s saying let’s go… but my heart is saying no.”
However, the primal, older limbic brain will always win out over the thinking, rational, newer neocortex.
Her limbic brain telling her to have sex has the force of a tsunami wave while the neocortex telling her to stop has the force of a whisper.
So don’t let a woman’s final resistance to sex faze you. Most of the time it can be overcome with some simple strategies I’m about to show you.
Instead of stopping, begging, or arguing with a woman, follow these simple guidelines below.
First, SIMPLY IGNORE WHAT SHE’S SAYING AND KEEP MOVING FORWARD.
Many times a woman will verbally say one thing, but with her body say something completely different. She may say, “No please…” verbally but give you no physical resistance whatsoever. In fact, I had a girl telling me, “We shouldn’t be doing this,” WHILE she was unfastening her bra!
So in many cases you can just IGNORE her token resistance and keep going. She crumbles in now time flat.
If she keeps saying, “We shouldn’t really be doing this…” and you sense the situation calls for you to say something, simply start talking SEXY-DIRTY to her.
Her: “Oh God… we shouldn’t be doing this…”
You: “You’re right… we shouldn’t do this… it’s so bad…”
And keep going.
You may have heard the advice”agree with what she’s saying”before. Indeed, agreeing with her disengages her logical, rational mind which is the source of all mental resistance. After all, how can she argue with someone who’s agreeing with her?
But it’s more than that.
Think of it as SEXY-DIRTY talk to get her WET and speak it like that – with a husky, sex voice.
If she continues to put up a more adamant resistance, especially if she uses physical resistance such as pulling your hand away, she is willing to sleep with you but you’re moving TOO FAST for her.
Men need very little sexual stimulation to be ready for sex Astana escort. But women require more time, and it varies from girl to girl.
Some girls only need ten minutes of tongue to tongue make-out before they’ll feel comfortable enough for sex. Other girls need to have their bodies touched and kissed all over for an hour before they’ll feel comfortable enough.
So her resistance is not a plea for you to stop entirely, but really a message for you to SLOW DOWN.
What she says: “This is moving so fast…”
She really means: “I like the feelings you’re giving me… I want to do this… but I need more kissing and cuddling first before I’m ready. Slow down a little and we’ll both get what we want.”
In this case, you need to adopt the strategy of two steps forward, one step back.
If you’ve been kissing her mouth, neck, and brushing over her nipples with your palms, and she begins to give you heavy resistance when you touch her pussy, simply BACK OFF from that area. Continue kissing her and touching her breasts for another ten minutes. Give her more foreplay time. This is the step back.
Then, once she’s even hornier than before and more comfortable with your touch, step forward again. Touch her pussy. Most likely, she’ll put up less resistance this time or none at all.
Back and forward, back and forward. Repeat as many times as necessary.
Of course there are those girls whose neocortex gives more than a whisper of resistance – they have so much negative mental programming about sex (or they’re so used to having men beg and plead for it) that all the usual techniques fall flat and more extreme measures are needed.
I’ll explain how to deal with the hard cases next time.